I now know what the dumbest self-inflicted wound is. This was done completely by accident. See, I was in charge of mailings today. There were at least 40 different letters and such to be mailed, some requiring more than one stamp. Normally I have one of those stamp moisteners, but it was all out of moisture today. I should have just went out and got a new one. However, knowing that time was of the essence, I decided to be self-sufficient and simply lick all of the stamps. What did people do before there were stamp moisteners? They licked the stamps.

I spent the whole afternoon licking close to what seemed like 50 or more stamps and with the last one, when all of my saliva was mostly gone due to the overuse of it, I gave myself a paper cut on my tongue. I have never done this before. I feel like an idiot. Out of all of those stamps, the very last one was the one to hurt me. My tongue is sore. It is slightly swollen and the taste is so bad. I hope it doesnít poison me. Iím pretty sure no one is supposed to lick that many stamps in that short of time. I know I was going pretty fast purely to impress whoever would notice with how quickly I can get something done. I havenít told anyone about my tongue because I know that they will immediately make fun of me. That, and it hurts to talk.

Keywords: sometimes, being, fast, just, time